Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Birkhead, Jerk-head or Block-head: Who Gets Custody Of Baby Dannielynn?

One gave birth to the author of this whole sad, sad fiasco, one donated some sperm and the other contributed a last name... for now at least. Who will get custody of the child?

The Jerk-head bowed out and offered his support to the Birkhead against the Block-head. The Block-head believes that because she’s had experience raising children, she should be able to parent the baby and perhaps manage the hundreds of millions that may be inherited in the future.

So, what kind of parent was Virgie Arthur? How many of her kids became community minded doctors and how many became beautiful drug addicted stripper/soft-core porn stars? Or what about the fact that she was the de facto parent of Anne Nicole’s drug addicted son? Is there a pattern emerging?

Here’s the score to date: the Jerk-head has struck out, the Block-head is batting minus 200 and the sperm donor Birkhead is batting 000, and as such, is the most logical and likely “winner who takes all,” ...minus a ton of legal fees.

Game over. So, media: please turn off the cameras, get out of my living room, go home and let the slugs and low-lifers crawl back into the dark places and piles of garbage with which they choose to surround themselves.

Now we can get back to letting the universe unfold as it should: Where is Paris Hilton these days? Perhaps there is a new video tape of her naked and drowning kittens?

Harper's Only About 28 Weeks Away From A Majority, No Election necessary!

The Blonde bummer-shell, Belinda Stronach elevated the level of Canadian politics today by announcing her resignation from the Liberal Party. While this move will likely improve the fortunes of the Liberals, as it did the Conservatives, it still bodes poorly for the hapless Dion-ites as their membership attrition rate continues to average about 1 MP defection every two weeks. If the trend continues and if the next 14 defectors join the Conservatives, we are only about 28 weeks away from a majority Conservative government - no need for an election!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Going, Going, Dion!

Celine Dion could be queen of Canada in a heartbeat: for Stephane Dion, leadership is at least a decade or two away, maybe, if ever.

Harper hit 42% support as the first choice of Canadians for the next Prime Minister while Dion got 17% and Layton 16%. Here's the real news: Harper was the second choice of 90%+ of everybody after their favourite Candidate. So what? The Reality is: This means that Harper will probably get all of his own support and the entire strategic vote shifting which goes on prior to an election.

Will there be an election this spring? The reality is: Not if the Liberals begin to realize that a minority government only works when everyone cooperates... that means they have to begin to realize that they are not in control any longer, dig in and get real.

Today the CBC cried about all of the Environmental Monitoring Groups whose funding has been axed. The reality is: For all nonpartisan groups who do real work without passing a percentage of the funds on to the Liberal Party, they will likely be supported. The rest will go on the unemployment list until a future Liberal government appoints them to Senate Positions.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The EU was Quebeced! France and Netherlands Vote No to New EU Constition!

FIRST DRAFT...

Two of the original six founding members of the EU used referenda to shoot down the proposed new constitution this week! What do France and The Netherlands have in common that might cause the populace to reject what 49% of the population of Europe has already ratified? To begin with, they both have language police! There's the clue!

One might surmise that their vision of the new Europe they were building was an extension of their own values, attitudes and perspectives. Surely everyone would see the benefit and value of France or Dutch Social values! It turns out that requires a gargantuan effort to raise the poorer, formerly second world areas of Europe, to such loftily financial, social and cultural heights. It is now becoming evident that the reverse is true: the EU is dragging the leading countries backward towards the maelstrom of the lowest common denominator.

Quebec has a language police and wants the same sort of thing for itself inside the country of Canada. Former Premier Jacques Parizeau, before the last separation referendum said Quebec could now leave Canada because they've been screwing the English for decades and don't need them anymore. Why would they want to stop wagging the dog by its tail? By strange coincidence, the ice storms in Quebec that winter followed by floods in the spring drew nearly 2 billion dollars out of Canadian tax payer's pockets. Nobody complained. When people need help, Canadians respond. So, we must conclude that the Canadian weather, something every citizen knows something about, kept the country together! The government fiddled or golfed or vacationed and leapt forward to take the credit at every opportunity.

Quebec separation, the first nation's problems and unemployment in the Maritime Provinces have all become too large to be resolved and are now perpetual issues of endless negotiation. Recently, during the Federal Liberal Parties orgy of vote buying, they used a "Beware the Boogey-man" poll hoping to frighten the Conservatives and their influencers away from an early election: Quebec wants to separate! The question posed was something like: "Would you like to separate to fulfill all your dreams and aspirations if it didn't cost anything and no real effort or work was required now or in the future?" OK, so I might have over simplified the translation just a little. The fact is, that even Saskatchewan and PEI would have said yes in greater numbers than Quebec did at that time and to that question!

Considering that Europe is rediscovering itself, the US is myopically advancing itself, Asia is testing itself, the Middle East is killing itself, the Caribbean is sunning itself, Central/South America are trying to feed themselves... what does this portend for Canada, Quebec and the future?

I can tell you this... Quebec will separate from Canada six months after Alberta Separates

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

New Canadian Poll Finds Trust Waning - 99.9% Distrust Polls!

The difference between public opinion polls in Canada and the US is that in the former, politicians use them to structure policy; in the later, citizens use them to know what to think. In both countries, almost no one trusts politicians... those who do trust them are people who likely think that if you drop something heavy, it will float away... Duh!

The lack of trust is a malaise spreading across many once revered professions... Doctors for example are not up at the top anymore: the once lowly schoolteacher is more highly regarded! The Canadian Government, ever slow to catch on to the public's sensibilities and perceptions, requires that a School Principal or a Doctor attest in writing, to verify one's identity when a passport application is being prepared. Schoolteachers are not considered trustworthy enough by the government in that regard!

The public on the other hand, evidently do not trust Teacher’s Unions. That became obvious in BC this past month! In the BC provincial election the Liberal Party and NDP Party, each spent 3.7 million dollars on their respective campaigns. The BC Teacher's Union spent over 5 million dollars just to smear the Liberals... and it did not work... all that well!

Wouldn't it be better if the BC Teachers' Union spent most of that money on upgrading their member's skills so that hundreds, if not thousands of parents, are spared the need to camp outside of non-union schools where they seem to prefer to enrol their kids? Of BC's nearly 300 High Schools, the top 10, according to The Fraser Institute, a think tank, said in their recent annual High School report card that only one school with staff from the BC Teachers' Federation made the top 10 and it was, predictably, #10! Maybe the Teachers' Union should order one of those think tanks...

The audacity of this same union went somewhat unnoticed a few months ago. Using patronizing lectures by way of media press releases, they announced a new methodology for selecting students for the very popular, much better funded and highly resourced French Immersion programs. This bit of brilliance is designed to save the union the embarrassment of stepping over determined parents, who resort to sleeping in the streets, in front of schools, for weeks in advance of registration. It confuses the News Media who might assume that something truly important is happening, like say, the release of a Star Wars sequel to a pre-quelled sequel… or something! Only in Basically Communist, er make that just B.C., would a Union, so in love with itself, its self-importance and presumed influence, act as if that kind of crap would be considered acceptable! Ralph Klein, Deo Gratis Rex of Alberta, would probably lay-off the incompetents and hire Quebecois teachers to accommodate his constituency. Anywhere else in the first, second or even in most of the third world, unions would attempt to upgrade member's skills rather than throw millions of dollars and thousands of press releases at the public, expecting to mold and shape public opinion, as if we are all an unruly class of third graders!

So if we do not trust Politicians, Doctors, or Policemen what does that mean? Best-case scenario we relearn to trust our family members, an ancient practice which seems to have fallen off the radar in the last decade. Worst case scenario, we don't sign our organ donor cards... What if we have an accident, in say Quebec, where the perception seems to exist and is daily reinforced by the Gomery commission, that a politician's kids or Mafioso's bambini will get our kid’s body parts, regardless of the actual health of our loved ones!

Recently, a good friend told me a strange and sad tale. His very elderly father was in a local hospital and as the Buddhist doctor (he asked!) who was in charge told him... it was his father’s time, his Karma and destiny to die, but not to worry, she would make sure the end would be painless and soon. He worried, weekly, daily, hourly, by phone and in person. The Doctor did not want to be that popular I guess. My friend, being a devout Christian and knowing that his father was not... was highly motivated to get his dad under the care of a Christian physician, if for no other reason than to gain more time and opportunities to share the gospel with his father. This long-short story, or short-long story has a happy conclusion for everyone concerned. His dad got a doctor who understood the son's sensibilities; the father lived for another year, enjoyed new depths of relationship with his son, lived happily and painlessly…, and converted. According to his son, he is living in heaven with the God of all Creation at this very moment rather than being recycled as a mosquito swarming somewhere around Winnipeg... even the Buddhist doctor was cured of a very real pain in her butt! I wonder if I would think to ask this kind of question under these circumstances?

So, just as a teacher would ask at this point... what have we learned about trust? I guess we do not and cannot trust anybody. I do not even trust myself to remember to ask the right questions at the right time; to save my kid’s liver, my wife’s heart, or the last couple of months of my father’s life!

However, seriously folks, was there ever any doubt that anyone would ever admit to trusting a politician? That would be about as unlikely as finding weapons of mass destruction in a third world country like… say Iraq?

Monday, May 30, 2005

Liberals Made 448 Patronage Appointments Before Crucial Vote!

In the last 30 days, it seems like nearly everyone in Canada either got money, a position or an appointment with a huge salary... except for me. 448 patronage appointments were made in the 30 day period leading up to the vote which could have toppled the Canadian government; more than in any 30 day period in the history of Canada! It diminishes John Turner's record, eclipses Brian Mulroney's and raises the graft bar so high only Jean Cretien, if brought out of enforced retirement, would be able to give away less to more, to benefit fewer for greater Liberal domination. It could happen! It would stop him from going around Ottawa, showing off his balls to anybody who fains interest! Ask Justice Gomery. He will no doubt admint that Uncle Jean has a lot of balls... some them are even autographed! I saw them on TV with my own weary eyes! He keeps them in a briefcase. I always wondered what he kept in a briefcase. The man who was on perpetual vacation while in office, must have had something in his briefcase... balls! Whatever happened to notches on a gun or a bedpost? Becareful Mr. Prime Minister Martin, Jean is preparing to hand you your balls very soon!

I, on the other hand, didn't get anything! Fresh from not even being nominated (although I sensed that I must have been, if only just ever so briefly considered) for Pope. Proving my mother's saying true: " everything comes in threes:" I was also passed over yesterday when a new Catholic Titular See of Gaza was named and, you guessed it... it was also not me!

So, just what are my chance for the future?


Now that Blunderwoman, Belinda Stronach, is on every media outlet 24/7 assuring Canadians that she will single handedly make sure that Democratic Renewal takes place, so that crap like patronage appointments are done away with and so that Governmental Cabinet Appointments are earned by long time party service in combination with talent and merit and are never, ever just given way to, say, any convenient, untalented, scatter brain who is prepared to jump ship, cross the floor and vote in favour of everything previously apposed by them since entering politics. So, in brief, Blunderwoman's idea of Democratic Renewal is the same as the Liberal Party's: when we govern, we make the rules, when they govern, they aways break the rules! My prospects for acquiring overnight fame and fortune? Zero to minus 6.

Blunderwoman may have great shoes, but look up, way up: her dark, sinister roots are always showing! My mom always warned me against dating cheap looking bleach blondes like that, no matter what else they were, or were not wearing! Blunderwoman will learn, since she obviously hasn't yet, that what goes around, comes around and great shoes or not, when you have a reputation for having round heels, you will fall for something at some time or other!


JarJar W. Bush: The Lone Star Wars in Iraq!

JarJar W. delcared war on Iraq ostensibly for two reasons:

1. Because Sadam was supporting terrorism (he gave money to the Palestinians whose houses were bulldozed by the Israeli army) and surprise, surprise, this past week, JarJar W. announced that huge sums of American Taxpayer's money will be heading to Pallistine for the same purpose: "housing development."

2. The other more pressing issue, I think, was just a misunderstanding of JarJar W.'s heavy Texan drawl mangled by his poor command of the English language which gave the world the impression that he wanted to find and "Destroy Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction"... Apparently what he must have intended was what he accomplished: JarJar W. "Destroyed until the Iraqi Masses Weap In Destruction."

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Ditch and Switch Bitch Shows Her True Designer Colours!

A great deal of media focus, time, and attention was devoted to the colourful terminology used to describe Belinda Stronach’s defection, the most exciting farce in Canadian politics in the past several decades.

Many self interested and self-righteous groups attacked the Conservatives and their sympathisers for using such lurid and sexist language, but no one bothered to ask “Crack Whores” what they thought and how they felt about everyone using their jargon to describe politicians. To a person they were incensed!

Crack Whores, that is “Sex Trade Workers” unlike Politicians, (“Political Trade Workers”) are apparently loyal to their friends, work mates, and families. In their milieu, they are generally honest, hard working, and impartial.

So please, in the future, choose a different industry when developing your metaphors, similes, and other grammatical conventions inviting and/or enhancing comparisons. Hookers do not wish to be compared to politicians who, according to every Crack Whore interviewed, reside, plot and operate beneath the vilest scum on earth. So, please, on behalf of the marginalized and down trodden, the lowly and oppressed, in the future, never again confuse or identify politicians with terminology reserved for prostitutes…. to them it is frankly terribly demeaning and it must cease and desist, effective immediately.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Why the typical US politician is unable to understand World Affairs!