Tuesday, May 31, 2005

New Canadian Poll Finds Trust Waning - 99.9% Distrust Polls!

The difference between public opinion polls in Canada and the US is that in the former, politicians use them to structure policy; in the later, citizens use them to know what to think. In both countries, almost no one trusts politicians... those who do trust them are people who likely think that if you drop something heavy, it will float away... Duh!

The lack of trust is a malaise spreading across many once revered professions... Doctors for example are not up at the top anymore: the once lowly schoolteacher is more highly regarded! The Canadian Government, ever slow to catch on to the public's sensibilities and perceptions, requires that a School Principal or a Doctor attest in writing, to verify one's identity when a passport application is being prepared. Schoolteachers are not considered trustworthy enough by the government in that regard!

The public on the other hand, evidently do not trust Teacher’s Unions. That became obvious in BC this past month! In the BC provincial election the Liberal Party and NDP Party, each spent 3.7 million dollars on their respective campaigns. The BC Teacher's Union spent over 5 million dollars just to smear the Liberals... and it did not work... all that well!

Wouldn't it be better if the BC Teachers' Union spent most of that money on upgrading their member's skills so that hundreds, if not thousands of parents, are spared the need to camp outside of non-union schools where they seem to prefer to enrol their kids? Of BC's nearly 300 High Schools, the top 10, according to The Fraser Institute, a think tank, said in their recent annual High School report card that only one school with staff from the BC Teachers' Federation made the top 10 and it was, predictably, #10! Maybe the Teachers' Union should order one of those think tanks...

The audacity of this same union went somewhat unnoticed a few months ago. Using patronizing lectures by way of media press releases, they announced a new methodology for selecting students for the very popular, much better funded and highly resourced French Immersion programs. This bit of brilliance is designed to save the union the embarrassment of stepping over determined parents, who resort to sleeping in the streets, in front of schools, for weeks in advance of registration. It confuses the News Media who might assume that something truly important is happening, like say, the release of a Star Wars sequel to a pre-quelled sequel… or something! Only in Basically Communist, er make that just B.C., would a Union, so in love with itself, its self-importance and presumed influence, act as if that kind of crap would be considered acceptable! Ralph Klein, Deo Gratis Rex of Alberta, would probably lay-off the incompetents and hire Quebecois teachers to accommodate his constituency. Anywhere else in the first, second or even in most of the third world, unions would attempt to upgrade member's skills rather than throw millions of dollars and thousands of press releases at the public, expecting to mold and shape public opinion, as if we are all an unruly class of third graders!

So if we do not trust Politicians, Doctors, or Policemen what does that mean? Best-case scenario we relearn to trust our family members, an ancient practice which seems to have fallen off the radar in the last decade. Worst case scenario, we don't sign our organ donor cards... What if we have an accident, in say Quebec, where the perception seems to exist and is daily reinforced by the Gomery commission, that a politician's kids or Mafioso's bambini will get our kid’s body parts, regardless of the actual health of our loved ones!

Recently, a good friend told me a strange and sad tale. His very elderly father was in a local hospital and as the Buddhist doctor (he asked!) who was in charge told him... it was his father’s time, his Karma and destiny to die, but not to worry, she would make sure the end would be painless and soon. He worried, weekly, daily, hourly, by phone and in person. The Doctor did not want to be that popular I guess. My friend, being a devout Christian and knowing that his father was not... was highly motivated to get his dad under the care of a Christian physician, if for no other reason than to gain more time and opportunities to share the gospel with his father. This long-short story, or short-long story has a happy conclusion for everyone concerned. His dad got a doctor who understood the son's sensibilities; the father lived for another year, enjoyed new depths of relationship with his son, lived happily and painlessly…, and converted. According to his son, he is living in heaven with the God of all Creation at this very moment rather than being recycled as a mosquito swarming somewhere around Winnipeg... even the Buddhist doctor was cured of a very real pain in her butt! I wonder if I would think to ask this kind of question under these circumstances?

So, just as a teacher would ask at this point... what have we learned about trust? I guess we do not and cannot trust anybody. I do not even trust myself to remember to ask the right questions at the right time; to save my kid’s liver, my wife’s heart, or the last couple of months of my father’s life!

However, seriously folks, was there ever any doubt that anyone would ever admit to trusting a politician? That would be about as unlikely as finding weapons of mass destruction in a third world country like… say Iraq?

Monday, May 30, 2005

Liberals Made 448 Patronage Appointments Before Crucial Vote!

In the last 30 days, it seems like nearly everyone in Canada either got money, a position or an appointment with a huge salary... except for me. 448 patronage appointments were made in the 30 day period leading up to the vote which could have toppled the Canadian government; more than in any 30 day period in the history of Canada! It diminishes John Turner's record, eclipses Brian Mulroney's and raises the graft bar so high only Jean Cretien, if brought out of enforced retirement, would be able to give away less to more, to benefit fewer for greater Liberal domination. It could happen! It would stop him from going around Ottawa, showing off his balls to anybody who fains interest! Ask Justice Gomery. He will no doubt admint that Uncle Jean has a lot of balls... some them are even autographed! I saw them on TV with my own weary eyes! He keeps them in a briefcase. I always wondered what he kept in a briefcase. The man who was on perpetual vacation while in office, must have had something in his briefcase... balls! Whatever happened to notches on a gun or a bedpost? Becareful Mr. Prime Minister Martin, Jean is preparing to hand you your balls very soon!

I, on the other hand, didn't get anything! Fresh from not even being nominated (although I sensed that I must have been, if only just ever so briefly considered) for Pope. Proving my mother's saying true: " everything comes in threes:" I was also passed over yesterday when a new Catholic Titular See of Gaza was named and, you guessed it... it was also not me!

So, just what are my chance for the future?


Now that Blunderwoman, Belinda Stronach, is on every media outlet 24/7 assuring Canadians that she will single handedly make sure that Democratic Renewal takes place, so that crap like patronage appointments are done away with and so that Governmental Cabinet Appointments are earned by long time party service in combination with talent and merit and are never, ever just given way to, say, any convenient, untalented, scatter brain who is prepared to jump ship, cross the floor and vote in favour of everything previously apposed by them since entering politics. So, in brief, Blunderwoman's idea of Democratic Renewal is the same as the Liberal Party's: when we govern, we make the rules, when they govern, they aways break the rules! My prospects for acquiring overnight fame and fortune? Zero to minus 6.

Blunderwoman may have great shoes, but look up, way up: her dark, sinister roots are always showing! My mom always warned me against dating cheap looking bleach blondes like that, no matter what else they were, or were not wearing! Blunderwoman will learn, since she obviously hasn't yet, that what goes around, comes around and great shoes or not, when you have a reputation for having round heels, you will fall for something at some time or other!


JarJar W. Bush: The Lone Star Wars in Iraq!

JarJar W. delcared war on Iraq ostensibly for two reasons:

1. Because Sadam was supporting terrorism (he gave money to the Palestinians whose houses were bulldozed by the Israeli army) and surprise, surprise, this past week, JarJar W. announced that huge sums of American Taxpayer's money will be heading to Pallistine for the same purpose: "housing development."

2. The other more pressing issue, I think, was just a misunderstanding of JarJar W.'s heavy Texan drawl mangled by his poor command of the English language which gave the world the impression that he wanted to find and "Destroy Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction"... Apparently what he must have intended was what he accomplished: JarJar W. "Destroyed until the Iraqi Masses Weap In Destruction."

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Ditch and Switch Bitch Shows Her True Designer Colours!

A great deal of media focus, time, and attention was devoted to the colourful terminology used to describe Belinda Stronach’s defection, the most exciting farce in Canadian politics in the past several decades.

Many self interested and self-righteous groups attacked the Conservatives and their sympathisers for using such lurid and sexist language, but no one bothered to ask “Crack Whores” what they thought and how they felt about everyone using their jargon to describe politicians. To a person they were incensed!

Crack Whores, that is “Sex Trade Workers” unlike Politicians, (“Political Trade Workers”) are apparently loyal to their friends, work mates, and families. In their milieu, they are generally honest, hard working, and impartial.

So please, in the future, choose a different industry when developing your metaphors, similes, and other grammatical conventions inviting and/or enhancing comparisons. Hookers do not wish to be compared to politicians who, according to every Crack Whore interviewed, reside, plot and operate beneath the vilest scum on earth. So, please, on behalf of the marginalized and down trodden, the lowly and oppressed, in the future, never again confuse or identify politicians with terminology reserved for prostitutes…. to them it is frankly terribly demeaning and it must cease and desist, effective immediately.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Why the typical US politician is unable to understand World Affairs!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

BlondeBomb'sHell: Magna's US Competitor files for bankruptcy after Belinda Changes Parties

Surprise! The blondebomb'shell.. is a party girl. So what if she was invited to the big Prom in Ottawa, by her Conservative date, was introduced around, shown the ropes and then after being wined, dined and .... (why yes, even that too... ala Peter Mckay) she decides to screw every single Conservative MP in one gigantic orgiastic act of hubris. Claiming to disdain Conservative party leader Harper's self-centredness, she proceeds to demonstrate in a single act, exactly what she purportedly eschews!

And today, Tuesday, Magna's US competitor, Auto-parts supplier Collins & Aikmans filed for bankruptcy protection. They must understand the Canadian Liberal Party's mehodologies: now that all of Jean Cretien's family and friends are no longer able to feed from the public trough (ref. the Gomery Commission, Bombardier's recent loss of Federal funding and subsequent stock market plunge... beware Bell Expressvu!) there will be billions of freshly paid taxpayer dollars available to throw at "non-advertising" based Canadian companies who know how to hide from the likes of, sharp as a razor: Shiela Frazer, such as , oh... say Magna!

So much money, so little time!

Like the Liberal's once Holy JC said, "So what if a couple of millions of dollars are stolen!" Easy to say when the couple of millions are taxpayer's dollars! That part of Liberal Party Policy won't change... witness all the promises made to anyone who will accept a contract in writing from Paul Martin. We are witnessing improvement: Martin's contracts, unlike some of his predecessor's, Cretien's, are not written on napkins!

Oh when, oh when, will my turn come? Please Mr. Martin, sign a cheque, not a contract and don't post date it for after Thursday of this week.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Belinda's Designer Flip Flops

Belinda moves from the Conservative Party to the Federal Liberals bringing the later temporary relief but future grief and the former short term pain but long term gain!

The accepted medical practice of dealing with dangerous cancer cells, ie, those which metastasize uncontrollably, rapidly and wildly; is by excising the diseased area as soon as possible. Too polite to kick her out of the party after a few years of media embarassments, the Conservative members are breathing a sigh of relief as the Liberals scramble to mount their new trophy: this blonde bomb's hell!